Nigella …

Why the hell do they not go out?  They have been here with me for days … well, Kaz does go out from time to time, no more than once a day, but Sooz hasn’t been out for the last week or so. Did they say it was Pirates?  No … that was someone on FaceBook that Kaz was reading … it’s the Virus. 

The Government has recommended that anyone over 70, or over 60 if they have a chronic illness, stay at home as much as possible. Kaz is stretching that so it includes the front yard and the back yard … although I think it is a bit of a stretch calling the Reserve out the back “our” yard. As well as going out there for some sun and fresh air she is also doing something called “macro photography” where she’s looking at flies and spiders and other insects – including ones that are in the middle of doing what the “birds and bees” do. 

But thank goodness she is photographing something other than me for a change.  It is really hard to keep thinking up different things to do … because I fear if I don’t she will start posing me the way other folk who have been stuck at home with their pets do. Although, come to think of it, it might be an interesting exercise … as long as that darned harness is not involved. Kaz had it out again this morning trying to put it on me … just let’s slip you into something more comfortable … no, no, she didn’t really say that … but she was trying to make out that it wouldn’t hurt me a bit. Well, it wouldn’t but she had better be careful or something might hurt her (yes, and that something could be me). 

She chased me with the tongs this morning … she had them out as a sight gag so she could hand the money to Mark when he finished doing the yard.  I don’t like them … I don’t like them at all – they bite … and it’s one of those horrible gummy bites because they don’t have teeth.  

And speaking of teeth, I managed to get a bit of “leg hound” in this morning.  It’s been a while and I think Kaz was a bit surprised when I pounced, wrapping my legs around her leg and sinking my teeth into her knee. She doesn’t seem to realise it is just me showing her affection – and that she needs to stop talking to Sooz and play with me instead.  It would be so much easier if Kaz could actually do two things at once. I can’t tell you how much time she wastes sitting on the bed … one shoe on, one shoe off, when she gets distracted by something!  

Sooz has been a great comfort to me while Kaz has been stuck at home … she’s doing what she normally does – except for that she’s not going off to Chanting or any of that, but she is still doing meditation and stuff at home. And if she’s not doing that, she’s keeping us entertained and engaged by watching lots of programs like The (Nazi) Hunters [very gory], Freud, and an ABC program called Revelations [just horrible – as in subject matter but Sooz says that Sarah Ferguson has done a great job].  Kaz could do to lift her viewing habits a bit – The Mentalist is all well and good but she could do with something a bit more … challenging.

I can not believe I fell for that again!  What was I thinking?  Well obviously I wasn’t!  Bedtime for Sooz and Kaz and as Kaz did last minute things around the house I made my way into the bedroom and hid.  I can’t say where because I know they read this!  Kaz looked for me but couldn’t find me – she even checked MY room and the lounge and the living room and kitchen but we know I wasn’t there.  And then she did it … she rattled the Cat Cookies Container and I shot out from – ahem – wherever I was to where she and the COOKIES were. I am promising myself that I won’t let Kaz do that to me again … because as I was eating and mid-mouthful Kaz said “night Nigey” and then she was gone … and when I had finished and went up to join them, the bedroom door was … closed. What the? Why don’t they just put a sign with a picture of me and a big cross through it at the door?  That way they wouldn’t have to close it.  I am still trying to work out if they are keeping themselves in or me out.
There was sad news last week … Syl and An’s Miki finally used up the last of her nine lives.  I know because on Saturday they sent packets and packets of cat treats they had for her over to me.  I am trying to like them… really I am … but it’s not happening yet.  Maybe that traitor M could use them for her new … it pains me to say it … cat.  I’m not sure what it’s called (although I have some fairly good names for the both of them – none of which I am allowed to say out loud) but it’s kennel name was/is Molly.  How could M do this to me … why does she want another cat – aren’t I enough for her … she knows she can visit me any time … I’m always available for cat-time and face rubs?  Hmmm … I hope she and “Molly” and Mouse (M’s mother) are happy together.  (Note to self:  next time M is here, do not hold back on the real Nigey!  They don’t call me “leg hound” for nothing.)  
Kaz and Sooz are telling me not to be jealous because M has enough love for me and another cat … and in these uncertain times, it will be nice for she and Mouse to have a little furry at home to spend time with – now that people are being asked to stay at home and to practise social distancing – but that distancing thing doesn’t apply to cats and dogs and porcupines and dolphins and spiders and snakes and other critters … just people.  I’ll do my best, of course, but I’m only … oops, almost wrote “human”.  D’oh. Maybe if I saw photos of Molly I could start to like her.

You have to feel sorry for Sooz – she’s been barking like a dog all week! It’s some kind of lurgy that’s laid her low since last Sunday: she Was so crook then she didn’t ever go to Reiki practice and she hasn’t really been much better since.. She even confined herself to the bedroom while Kaz’s brother was here at the start of last Week – although she did manage to go out to Trivia with them.
We must have truly magical powers! He made all the rubbish in Kaz’s office disappear – and most of it has been hanging around since I got here mid-last year! It also meant that I was locked out of that room. I don’t care what they say,  I would not have put a hole into the blow-up bed with my claws (or teeth) … I’m much more careful than that.
And speaking of Wa, for someone who professes not to like cats, he’s not that bad.  He didn’t squirt me with the water bottle this time but he did pretend he was going to. But I really was on my very best behaviour. I only climbed up the screen door a couple of times, and I didn’t even really try to escape out the front door – but I would have if he’d been here one day longer! I had him believing I wouldn’t try to make a break for it – which of course is how I escaped under Kaz’s watch a couple of weeks back. She was pretty quick to catch me and now she’s talking about that darned harness again.

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I really don’t understand why Kaz keeps moving those plastic boxes back and forth in my bedroom.  She tells Sooz it’s so she can organise in there and certainly it has changed in the last week or so. The bookshelves are gone … and there’s a desk – and the desk is covered with furry animals of varying sizes – including my big bear – and more of those plastic boxes!  There’s enough room on the couch (which is now under the window) that I can stretch right out – on my back!  Bliss!  And that’s not even taking into account the metal shelves that have moved back into the office which I have been sleeping on too.  There’s nothing like clear surfaces – and there are more now than ever!