Nigella …

Why don’t they let me have a bedside table? I have so many beds but not one table beside any of them. So, what’s a girl to do? The only thing I could of course … I appropriated one of theirs this morning – Kaz’s. She didn’t seem to mind – She seemed happy – she was busy taking photographs of me lounging, trying to get comfortable around all the junk she keeps on the side table, chewing cables … the usual.

There have been a few photographs over the last few days – there seen to be more photographs when it’s wet – they do try to go outside when it’s raining but they aren’t very good at it. Kaz did go out yesterday and when she came back she was so wet she had to go take a shower. How does that work? Wouldn’t it have just made her more wet?

They did find time to do something constructive though – they fixed my caravan! It’s been a flat pack for a few weeks so it was a bit of a surprise when Kaz peeled it off the living room floor and took it to the table and started folding and sticking – and needing my help. What could I do? I had no choice … I helped. And then I took it for a best drive … and, yes, I may have been speeding a little bit – that’s the only way I can explain the rollover. Don’t worry – I’m okay – really… all I can say is thank goodness they haven’t bought me a high performance vehicle yet. Goodness knows though… I am an excellent driver.

Hmmm … so that’s what they do long into the night after they’ve locked me out of the bedroom … they talk and do quizzes and tap out songs to make the other one guess them.  No wonder they want me to spend nights outside of the bedroom – they don’t want me to be bored to tears!  And they know I would be!  How do I know what they do in there?  I actively eavesdrop on them, with my little ear pressed against the door after they’ve exiled me!  Nah … that’s not how (really, Kaz and Sooz it isn’t!) … it’s because they let me stay in there for a bit longer the other evening.  It was fun … ahem … yes, I am lying … it was not fun … not in any definition of the word!  They seemed to enjoy it though … even when they were trying to work out what the word was (and no … it was not their safe word – whatever that is!).

I managed to get outside again yesterday – Kaz forced me into that hot horrible hairy harness (I call it Harry now) and dragged me outside as though it was the last place in the world I wanted to go … she was wrong!  It’s fun out there … there’s grass, and a hole in the fence that should be easy to get through when she’s not watching me so closely … and I know there is something exciting playing in under those fallen frangipani leaves and I really want to get to know them.  (I haven’t told Kaz and Sooz about them … they just get scared if they think there’s something out in the yard.)

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Just as well Kaz is helping me to write this today because if it was posted tomorrow people would think it was an April Fool’s Day joke!  I have been outside … not once, not twice but THREE TIMES!  Aunty M supervised the first two times, but today Kaz did it.  I gave her a hard time of course – who knew one small cat could have so many legs when someone is trying to get them into a harness?  Kaz said she counted seven at one point!  She may have been exaggerating though – she has a tendency to do that sometimes!  But she did finally manage to get me into that stinking horrible hairy harness … and led me out into the great outdoors.  I wasn’t allowed off the lead but that’s okay … I’m sure I will be next time. 

It’s quite exciting being outside … I get scared sometimes when I hear strange noises (there are lots of them out there) but I don’t let Kaz (or Aunty M) know that.  And I think I’m growing to love eating grass.  Mmmm … grass.  There are so many different types of it out there … and I’m busy tasting all of it! 

Meanwhile, back inside things are more or less the same.  They haven’t started wearing face masks inside yet but I saw Kaz scrambling around in the hall cupboard looking for the “inside” ones the other day. I don’t think she found them, but she said that was okay because she knew she had some in Ravi too.  I’m not interested in any of that though … I just need to know that there are boxes … and lots of them!