Nigella …

I don’t know what Kaz is on about.  She took me out into the yard on Sunday morning and she was keeping me on a short leash – she can do that because she has one that yanks the cord back when she pushes a button – because she said she doesn’t trust me since I tried to leg it over the fence last time!  Doesn’t she know that’s my job?  I don’t want her to stand there and take photographs of me and then just drift off into doing whatever else she wants to do on her phone … as though I’m not there and that she isn’t totally responsible for me while I’m out in the yard.  And it’s not like I actually got over the gate and fence and into the back yard last time.  She dragged me off the top of it before I could fully scramble over! 

But I didn’t have to worry about her at all last week.  She was gone on Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday and didn’t get back until it was time for lunch on Thursday.  And I didn’t have to go off to Aunty (I don’t think so!) Rosemary and her green hair because Sooz stayed at home to look after me, feed me, do my tray, play stringey thing with me, and let me share the bed with her … at nighttime.  Yes, yes, I know I didn’t have to go running over it and her at 3 o’clock that morning but it was time for her to be up anyway. I was feeling a bit lonely without her.  It’s different when they lock me out of the bedroom at night, but when I’m in there I really do want to be with them – unless I’m hiding under the bed so they can’t evict me. 
Come to think of it, I did spend quite a lot of time with Sooz over those few days, sometimes cuddled against her … the only thing that could have made it better was if she’d had the electric blanket on … that would have been so toasty.  But … not to be … although I did help them to put the new one on the bed yesterday.  Aunty M had arranged to get it for them from the store where she works … and let me tell you it (that would be the electric blanket) is simply wonderful.  It heats up for 0 to 100 in less than 60 seconds … oops, no, that would be the car I want to get … but the blanket really doesn’t take all that long … I heard Sooz raving about it last night.  

Sooz has decided to stay home with me so I don’t have to go board with Aunty (I don’t think so) Rosemary. I am so excited because I will be able to spend some quality time with Sooz without Kaz barging in.
OMG OMG … with Kaz and her stupid sleeping machine gone that means there is no reason for Sooz to lock me out of the bedroom overnight! Hurrah! But don’t tell Kaz because she’ll tell Sooz not to let me have a sleepover because it will set a bad precedent. I don’t think so Kaz, I don’t think so at all.

There’s definitely something up but I don’t know what it is. Kaz keeps talking about me and then spreading her arms and legs wide apart. I’ve never seen her do anything like it before. She’s done it a couple of times now … and I think I heard something about green hair. How odd is that? There’s only one person I know with green hair and that’s Rosemary at Boarding School … hang on … that can’t be right … surely they’re not going to take me back to stay with “Aunty” (I don’t think so) Rosemary.  But they would you know. 
I really think I’m going to have to work on a strategy here … I am not going back there any time soon. I told them that last time. Hmmm come to think of it,  that could be what the spread-eagled arms and legs thing is about … that’s exactly what I did the last time Kaz tried to put me in the cat cage to take me to Rosemary’s. She had the devil of a time getting me it then … but that will be nothing compared to when she tries again.  Be afraid Kaz and Sooz, be very afraid.
When the time comes … they won’t be able to find me at all. They think it’s bad at bedtime when I go missing … trust me that’s going to seem like a doddle!  But I will give them a fighting chance … let’s see if they can find me in these pictures.

They are guarding the front door as though I’m going to take off the first chance I get …  and they are not wrong! Why do I want to do it? Probably because they are going to such great lengths to keep me in: and yes, I do know the rule Kaz and no I am not putting that filthy harness on. Nigey has spoken! 

Aunty M has bought me some more of the Stinky yummy Cookies. Their real name is Nood! which is funny when you think about it because I am always in the Nood when I eat them … because I am in the Nood all the time!  Maybe Kaz could do something about that … although possibly best not to give her ideas .. I can see her making me up to be a Zombie Cat … “brains, brains” … which is sad because she knows I only really like seafood!  She knows that because of all the non-seafood cans of food that get untouched when she puts them out for me.  Variety? Variety? Don’t you talk to me about variety! 

They disappeared over the weekend again!  I don’t think it’s right that they have Aunty M pick up the slack for them … but I’m really glad she does.  I make sure she knows I love her because as soon as I hear her coming, I race to the front window to welcome her!  Yes … I know she smells of Mimi but she can’t help that. 

What do I do while they’re away (besides waiting for Aunty M?) … lots … I’ve taken photos …

When the Mummies did finally get back on Sunday (Aunty M had been just before them around lunchtime to clean out my tray – she knows I don’t like it when it hasn’t been cleaned out – and I sometimes leave a lot there to be cleaned out) I tried to escape again but Kaz thwarted my attempt – again!  I am going to have to think again about the 4H … I think they’re right … it’s the only way I am truly going to be able to spend any (real) time outside.

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