No …

No .. no … I don’t want to go to Aunty Rosemary’s.  You can’t make me get in that cage Kaz! Heh heh, Kaz has to catch me first.  Fast walking.  Fast walking. DAMN IT … KAZ HAS CLOSED ALL THE ESCAPE ROUTES.  There’s nowhere to run … nowhere to hide.  And yes Kaz I do have 27 arms and legs as you try to stuff me into the cat cage.  What’s that?  We’re not going to Aunty Rosemary’s?  Why don’t I believe you?  Liar liar … you know it’s not your nose that gets bigger when you fib … it’s your bottom.  Do the words “the size of a small African nation” mean anything to you Kaz? Because they really should.  And no, having my blanket in the cage with me does not make it better. 
And why aren’t you listening to me … you know I can keep this up for as long as it takes for you to get me out of this cage. 
SOOZ … SOOZ … COME SAVE ME!

Some time later.
I’m finally out of the cage and Kaz was right, we are not at Aunty Rosemary’s … it is so much worse than that.  SHE HAS BROUGHT ME TO THE VET! And the Vet isn’t even trying to warm up that stethoscope before she shoves it on my tummy … and holds it there … and keeps holding it … and then holds it some more … and only takes it away when she says something about a heart murmur.  And that she would like to do some blood tests and check for a special cardiac enzyme to see if she can tell what’s happening.  Hmmm.  I bet you’re really pleased now Mummies that you took out that health care plan for me. 
So the Vet shaved part of under my neck and put in a needle that was huge… I can’t say exactly how huge because I had my eyes closed but it did feel at one stage like is was coming out of my bottom … although that might have been the thermometer! 

The good news (yes, there is some) is that they clipped my toenails so I will be able to sneak up on the Mummies again … those toenails had gotten so long they were clicking on the ground as I walked … and they would sometimes get caught in whatever I happened to be playing with – stringey-thing (and yes Sooz that IS how I spell it), masking tape,  electric power cords, earplug cables, glasses cleaning cloths …

The other good news is that true to her word (and no, Kaz, that doesn’t mean that bottom is getting any smaller) she did bring me straight home afterwards.  We will hear back from the Vet on Friday if I need to go in for more tests … and if I do, Kaz better hope and pray that the Vet does home visits because … I AM NOT GETTING BACK IN THAT CAGE AGAIN!