Nigella …

Snake!  Snake!  Snake!  Heh heh heh … I have finally worked out how to get my revenge on Kaz.  Every chance I get now I rush over to the window near my cat tower … look out as though I am watching something … wait for Kaz to see me .. and then I send her the words “snake … snake …”.  Beats me why she starts randomly singing something about Severus Snape soon after (Snape … Snape … Severus Snape) … I think she saw something on the interweb once!  It works to keep her on her toes though … but only because we know there are snakes in the area … not least because there was one out near the front gate last week or the ones that shed their skins earlier this year … and as I eavesdropped while she was talking with “Dan the Deck Man” yesterday, he was saying that on his way to see her, he had seen a snake in the next street.  He even whipped out his phone to show her a picture. 

Deck .. deck?  Yes, Sooz and Kaz – in a bid to appease me because of the whole “does my b*m look big in this” incident – have decided to enclose the back deck area so I have another place to hide/play.  I think it’s wonderful of them – not so much because the “whatever it is” has to be catproof so I can’t escape, but that it has to be snake-proof so they can’t play with me … and vice versa.  (Kaz had just finished transcribing that paragraph when one of the men at the table near her at Zarraffas was talking about someone saying “does my b*m look big in this” … seems there is a bit of it about.)  Kaz has already had one quote for blinds that lock down out there but she isn’t completely happy with that … hence the visit from Dan the Deck Man – who should have his quote back to her soon.

In the meantime, since the deck is still a little bit away, I am contenting myself with lounging around the house in all the usual places. I did give An a fright yesterday though … she couldn’t find me – and I didn’t even know we were supposed to be playing Hide & Seek!  She told Kaz and Sooz later that she absolutely knew I hadn’t escaped the house because she hadn’t had the door open, but she was worried because she couldn’t find me – and she looked in all the usual spots but I had well and truly gone missing.  Well, so she thought … I was actually asleep on the bed, curled up with the washing basket that was there too.  Now I think about it, I do believe my favourite shoes were in the basket.

Anyway, I have to get back to the window in case I see a …. Snake!  Snake!

I’m still plotting my revenge but I’ve now heard that it’s a dish best served cold so it’s like ice cream. Shame that I dont really like milk-based products, so I may have to think of something else.  And I think I may know what it is! If Kaz is so fond of taking my photo, I’m going to keep giving her opportunities that she doesn’t want to miss … so she’ll be so busy following me around that she won’t get a chance to do anything else!  That will teach her to make fun of the size of my bottom!  (Let it go …. let it go … I think I heard someone singing that once – or maybe more than that … Sooz certainly did on her way to Sydney with her neice and nephew some Christmases ago … she still talks about what a good trip that was.)

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Otherwise things have been pretty much normal around here although Kaz was freaking out yesterday when she saw a snake … well, the way she tells it, it wasn’t about seeing it, but about having to dispose of the poor thing’s body.  It had apparently become wedged somewhere and couldn’t get out and it didn’t make it.  She needed to touch it to dispose of the body and she didn’t want to do that … not by hand, so she tried (a bit unsuccessfully) with “the chopstick method” – tring to pincer it between two long handles and then with gloves.  Is “icky” even a word Kaz?

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As it turns out, it is not that easy to be an evil genius when planning payback.  I am still working on it though because Kaz must be taught a lesson!  Yes I know they love sharing photos of me on Social Media – and I totally understand that they would want to – but “does my bum look big in this” must not be tolerated.  Hmmm … it could be the caption I took offence with (or is that to).  Maybe if Kaz had put something like:  Nigey still loves her cat tower hammock even if it seems smaller these days because she’s … no, maybe not.  But she did seem to think it was funny … still is funny.  I hear her guffawing sometimes … and it’s pretty raucous and, I must say, a tad unladylike … really a bit like a troll under a bridge Kaz!That being said, I am enjoying my cat tower these days.  It is a bit of a tight fit into the basket bit but it is nice and cozy and makes me feel … secure.  It is also an excellent plotting place!  

What is she trying to do to me?  Have I not been a good cat?  Have I not shown that I am worthy of respect and maybe even a little deference?  So what the %$&@$ was that thing that she (yes, you Kaz) put on Facebook?  Yes it was me … and I know it was there because Sooz showed me because she thought it was cute … but let me tell you it is an intrusion on my privacy … and my good nature!  I’m talking about the picture of me in my hammock!  Because I still use things even when I have outgrown them a little, I was maybe hanging over the edge … a little.  However that is absolutely no reason for there to be a picture of me on Facebook with the caption:  Does my bum look big in this?  Hmmm.  Payback is a b*tch Kaz!  All I can say is watch your back … because you will never know when it’s coming!