Nigella …

The Mummies often tell people that I am really good at letting them know when someone is coming to the front door.   They think I am being a watchdog but I’m not … not really … I am just hoping whoever comes will let me out of the house … without that darned 4H on.  Yes, that’s right, Kaz still hasn’t weakened on that particular rule … it’s still “Nigey … blah blah blah … no harness no outside … blah blah blah blah blah”.  Does she know how sick I get of hearing all that blah-blah-blah-blah-blahing?  She may like listening to her own voice but you can’t say that for the rest of us!
To tell you the truth I was kind of glad Kaz and Sooz took themselves off for the weekend. It meant that Aunty M came to visit – not once but twice.  She came yesterday afternoon and this morning.  You’ll be pleased to know that I didn’t fall for her opening a can of cat food for me … I didn’t eat it the same way that I never eat it for Kaz.  Cat food?  Cat food?  What does she think I am? 

It was good when they came home this afternoon though … Aunty M had left me a load of cookies and things but it’s always nice to have fresh from the Mummies … and to have my litter tray cleaned out as well.  Speaking of litter, Kaz loaded up my tray with a new litter before they went away.  It’s scented … lavendar … and it’s a lovely grey colour – and quite fine. It’s hard to spread as much of it over the floor as I usually can … but I’m doing my best.  It will be interesting to see what happens on Wednesday when the 100kg of product from Katz Loo arrives Hopefully I like that one … because it’s a lot of litter if I don’t. 

I’m still having a good time with my new Beach House … but I really like the box.  It’s a bit of a squeeze but I am able to get all the way into it now (after a false start the other day).  And when I’m not in it, I’m on it.  And if I’m not on it, then I’m having a sit (and a chew) on Sooz’s overnight bag.  Maybe next time they’ll take me with them. 

It’s official … I love Aunty M.  Not only does she give amazing face rubs, and looks after me while my Mummies skive off, but now she’s bought me a new house!  And it’s a BEACH HOUSE!!!!!  She must really like me too to go to all that expense just so I’ll be happy … and just like Mimi … because she got one too.  That Mimi is such a big show-off.  She sent me a photograph the other day … more than one actually, of Mimi sitting on her grandmother’s wheelie-walker and being pushed around the house, and another one of her (that would be Mimi) playing in her beach house and one with her new shoe booties with what looks to be pictures of lions on them.  That’d be right.  Lions!  Or something that looks like lions.  My Mummies never get me anything like that.  Hmmm … I wonder if I could go and live with Aunty M … and maybe if she has me, she’ll be able to give Mimi to someone else.  Oh wait, that won’t work … what would her grandmother do?  Who else would sleep in her sink?  I’m not sure why they make Mimi sleep in the sink.  I’ll ask Aunty M the next time I see her.

In the meantime, it’s business as usual around here.  I have managed to sneak into the bedroom at night a couple of times and the other night I actually got to sleep on the bed for a couple of hours … and I might have still be there had I not woken up and started playing.  Yes, yes, the first place I went was to Kaz’s sleeping machine … and then up along the bed head and down onto Sooz’s bedside table … and then, when I knew they were awake and looking for me, I quickly slipped under the bed … and I would still have been there had Kaz not done a dirty trick – dangling the ribbon from Sooz’s dressing gown over the side of the bed … and like a sucker I went after it … and she was clever … so very clever … which is so unlike her … because she lured me up onto the bed with it and gave me a big pat, and let me play there for a while before she dangled the ribbon onto the floor … and then eventually back on to the bed … and that’s when she grabbed me and unceremoniously dumped me outside … into the cold, cold, cold, freezing living room for the rest of the night. There’s a word for people like that!

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So that’s what it’s all about Sooz and Kaz … and why Kaz is now looking to buy a stethoscope – probably from her favourite online retailer- Amazon.  But back to the beginning … regular readers of my blog will remember that the vet Kaz took me to for the regular attention to my claws put a very cold stethoscope on my chest and tummy and said she had found a “heart murmur”.  Blood tests came back “normal” … (normal? anything about me normal?) and the decision was taken not to give me a grand (the cost) ultrasound test.  Then when Kaz puts something on FB, Aunty Ma (no, not that Aunty M – this Aunty Ma is a vet) suggests that if we are concerned about the possibility of me having a heart murmur which could cause us all trouble down the road, she suggested that there is a low-cost way of monitoring it … and no, it’s not a cat scan (heh heh).  It’s listening to my heart while I’m sleeping.  Kaz tried to do that but she didn’t quite get it right.  She tried hard though. She stood next to me as I was trying to sleep in the penthouse (sweet)  – and she put her ear to my chest and of course I purred and she had to wait until I fell asleep and stopped purring … but then she couldn’t hear my heartbeat and because she couldn’t hear it (at all?) she couldn’t count it. This could be a problem if she is going to monitor it on an ongoing basis.
More of a problem though is that Kaz does not seem to be able to read properly. What Aunty Ma actually said was that they should monitor my sleeping respiration rate. That will be a bit easier on them – they can just look at me and count for that … so no stethoscope needed … and let’s hope Kaz hasn’t invested in one yet … although if it is already on order, it could be fun … although, after a quick look at the interweb, that would seem to be a big no.

Why does Kaz keep sneaking up on me while I’m trying to sleep?  Does she not know how annoying it is?  Or how creepy? You would think she would have gotten the message after she almost gave Sooz a heart attack the other day … she (Sooz) was have an afternoon nananap (pronounced: nana nap) when Kaz laid down next to her – being as quiet as she could – and when Sooz rolled over she (Sooz) got the fright of her life.  She really does have a wonderful “startle” reflex too … arms and legs flailing everywhere.  It would be funny if it wasn’t so serious … and bless her little cotton socks, Kaz was almost able to not do that embarrassed laughter!  She would have really found herself in hot water had she not been able to contain herself.  But that doesn’t explain why she has started creeping up on me … and it’s not that she’s trying to give me a cuddle or anything … she’s trying to put her head on my chest!  And, let me tell you, her head is almost as big as her quite generously-sized bottom (no Kaz, I haven’t forgotten!)!  Hopefully it will all become clear in time.  I am thinking she will discuss it with Sooz at some point, and that I will be in earshot … and there better be a reason for it … and not that she’s just messing with me.

Sooz has been wonderful.  She keeps leaving the electric blanket on during the day for me … and we need it because it has turned quite chilly.  I sometimes use it in the evenings as well, while they’re watching MasterChef!

The rain has stopped, so that is a good thing, because it meant that Kaz deigned to let me go outside for a little while yesterday morning.  I will have to remind them that even my Archnemesis (Mimi) gets to go outside for literally hours at a time and that if they love me as much as Aunty M loves Mimi, then the least they can do is let me go out for that long too. 

I don’t know whether Mimi gets a place set for her at the dining table but Sooz and Kaz have started doing that for me now … even though they are a bit slack with the place setting.  Cutlery people … cutlery!