Nigella …

Ahem, just because I eat off the floor doesn’t mean it’s clean … another reason we need the lockdown to end – these two seem to have forgotten how to use a mop … oh wait … do they even have a mop? Hmmm, maybe not because Aunty A brings all the cleaning goodies with her – including a mop. Geez, that’s right you know, I’ve been here for over two years now and not once have I seen either of them with a mop; a broom yes, a stick vacuum yes, but nope, no mop … ever.
They deferred Aunty A’s visit last week because of the lockdown and hopefully that won’t happen this week … I just hope she can fit us in otherwise things might start to get a bit dire around here.

And speaking of “around here” – did I say I wanted lockdown to be over so they’d stay out more. I might have been wrong about that. They left home at 8 this morning and weren’t back here until after 2pm. What’s a cat to do? Well, a cat might do a range of things but me, well, I slept a bit, had a go in the caravan, did a tour of Ollie Tedesko, ate a few of my non-favourite cookies (Kaz has run out of the good ones), looked out the window some, wondered where the Mummies were, looked at the clock on the microwave, looked at the clock on the oven – and wondered why they don’t show the same time – there’s like three minutes’ difference! You know what this means? No sleep for Nigey tonight as I try to work out which clock is right – or righter. I’ll be up all night looking at all the clocks I can find: the one on the radio in Kaz’s office, the PVR: I won’t be able to look at Sooz and Kaz’s devices – unless they forget to lock me out of the bedroom. I don’t think there’s a clock on the new washing machine either – especially since it’s not turned on at the moment. Hmmm. Just as well I had a couple of naps while they were out – and tonight while they were away at Trivia.

They’re still hanging around the house but there may be an end in sight. On Sunday they find out whether the lockdown is to be extended. I hope it isn’t for their sake, and, obviously mine. I like having them around and all but there is some truth in that saying: absence makes the heart grow fonder. let’s give that a go soon, shall we Mummies? Yes, we know it’s not up to you but let’s keep that in mind for Sunday …
But the good thing is – because there’s always an up side right? – is that Kaz has been taking photographs of me again. A few of them too. Now, this may or may not be true but I think she’s just following me around waiting for me to do stuff. Take today – Kaz practically told me to go and play with the tissues – don’t get me wrong, I was happy to do it for her – but really, doesn’t she know I need boundaries.

So why was she just watching me as I kept playing with the tissues and throwing them off the coffee table. She wasn’t just watching me, she was videoing me. I love that she wants to capture me on “film” all the time but… go out already!
And finally she did… She went to the shops and she brought a bag home with her – don’t get me wrong she often brings bags home with her but usually she has to buy them at the store because she’s forgotten to take them with her… but this one she took with her. It was pretty ‘sad that there wasn’t much in it when she brought it back. But I soon fixed that.

Will they please go out? Okay, yes, they do go out in the morning for a bit but then they come straight home: I know they’re coming straight home – they’re bringing coffees with them – last week they were having it down at the Broadwater. Why the change? Why, I ask you. Does it have something to do with the “lockdown” (and yes, those air quotes are there for a reason)? Or it is because they are racing home to watch the Olympics? They’re doing a bit of that lately – and they’re very voi voci noisy about it too. Especially about someone called Sam Kerr and something called the Matildas.
Kaz has been able to drag herself away from the television long enough to take me outside a couple of times. I have to keep insisting though – she says she’s going to take me out “after lunch” or “when there’s more sun” and then she forgets because she’s busy doing other things – and how can any of them be more important than me?
And did you hear Kaz came up with the idea of doing Stand-up Comedy?  How funny is that! An inveterate introvert thinking she could stand up in front of strangers and make them laugh … mind you, there was one smart thing she was planning to do: use me as her muse (read: subject matter)! How could she miss? Hmmm … it was just lucky Aunty M came the next day so they could watch that French show – and what should it be about but a starlet who wanted a new thrill, so she was trying out as a … stand-up comic. She bombed. And who says vicarious learning doesn’t work? Kaz hasn’t mentioned stand-up since. I guess that means she’s done a stand-down. (Geez, we might have been good together afterall!)

A girl really has to make her own fun while those Mummies are busy …

Aunty M came to see me this afternoon … or so I thought but rather than spending all of her time with me, she was leafing (pun intended) through the garden looking for a clover with four leaves.  Okay, she was patting me all the time she was doing it – yes, Kaz had me outside today, and she eventually did find one.  Just as well she found it today too because word is that Kaz is currently charging the batteries for the lawnmower and has her sights set on the grass out there … and, by definition, the clover as well.

Sooz brought me home a new Tibet today … it was apparently a birthday present to her from So … but we really know it was meant for me.  And I think I look good on it … and the original Tibet as well of course … I’m not going to be letting that go any time soon.

I surprised Kaz last night … just as she was getting ready for bed (and it was a late night because she was trapped by that television again) and checking the doors and lights for the evening, I heard her and ran in under the Mummies’ bed … and I made sure she saw me otherwise it’s absolutely no fun.  I was interested to see what she would do … I know she can’t reach me under the bed – but I wasn’t sure which of the usual tricks she would play – rattling the cat cookies container, dangling the fish toy near the edge of the bed … that type of stuff.  It never works but she keeps trying … as though, magically, one day I will forget that I’m the smart one in this household. To her credit, though, Kaz didn’t try any of her usual tricks … she just sat on the side of the bed, quietly telling Sooz, who by this stage was awake, that I was in the bedroom.  Then nothing.  Of course, I had to come out and have a look … and still Kaz didn’t pounce on me.  That didn’t come for a good few minutes when nonchalantly she stood up from the bed and went to look in the wardrobe … and then she had me.  I am reminded of that scene in Jurassic Park when the velociraptors ambush the Robert Muldoon character which he only realises when one of them is standing right next to him … “clever girl”!  I am going to have to watch her … in fact, I’m going to keep an eye on both of them.  I don’t know how, but I think they might be getting cleverer (Is that a word? Kaz tells me it’s a word!)