That M Kaz is such a whiner. Just because I want to kiss and cuddle her legs sometimes she gets all upset and tells the other Mummy that I’ m attacking her. I hate to think what she’d be saying if she didn’t have long pants on when I’m being affectionate! M Sooz says that if M Kaz is worried about my behaviour, then she should talk to the VET about it. They’d have to get me there first. Although it probably is time I let M Kaz take me because I need to be vaccinated again, and I hate to say this, to have my nails clipped – I wouldn’t ordinarily worry about it but M Kaz has been slack about getting them coiffed and they’re starting to catch on the carpet.
It has been exciting here because the Mummies have been talking about giving me unrestricted access to the Outback. M Kaz reasons that if they leave me out there while M Sooz is reading her 3,000-page book on Herr Hitler and M Kaz is locked in her office doing ‘transcribing’, it’s like I’m out there unsupervised anyway, so what would the difference be. So there we have it – and by the sounds of it, it looks like I’ll get my tray out of M Kaz’s bathroom at last because they’re talking about moving it out. Finally I’ll get some privacy!
And I need my privacy – not just for personal matters but because that M Kaz just doesn’t ever put that camera down – she’s always got it pointed at me. For all I know she’s still taking photographs of me while I’m sleeping. I wouldn’t put it past her.
Nigella ... 