Month: November 2020

I cannot believe they did that!  They told me they were going out to lunch and when they came back they didn’t smell of lunch at all.  They smelled of coffee and … sniff … sniff .. what’s that?  Odour of cat?  And  not just any cat … I’ve smelled that one before … on Aunty M … oh wait, oh no, tell me it isn’t so … they have been with Mimi … yes, that’s right that would be my arch-nemesis Mimi.  What were they thinking? Did they think I wouldn’t notice.  Haven’t they heard … oh wait, they were the ones who told me … that cats have a more acute sense of smell than dogs … and the only reason that they don’t use us for drug-sniffing at airports is that we would knock every suitcase off the conveyor belt! Hmmmm … that qualified them for a couple of days in the “sin binny-thingy” (Is that a thing?  If not, remember that sports terminology – or is that sports? – is not really my thing.) 

I can’t believe how much Sooz and Kaz talk about how hot it is … they’re right of course but neither of them wears a fur coat like mine.  So rather than tell them how sad it is, I just make sure I am where they are while they’re home because they always have a fan or the air conditioning on.  That’s why I’ve been spending a lot of time with Kaz in her office … while she’s sitting on her computer (heh heh – wouldn’t that be funny), I’m sitting – or reclining – on my pumpkin couch.  I love it.  And if she’s not there, or sometimes even if she is, I go in to keep Sooz company in the bedroom.  She reads in there and she’s also doing “Queer Eyes” at the iPad at the moment … and a lot of it. Otherwise, things are normal here.  They’re feeding me … and when they’re not feeding me enough, I have a bit of a chew on Kaz’s leg.

There’s absolutely no doubt in my mind that if it ever came to a battle of wits and wills between Kaz and Sooz and me, I would certainly almost win!  Okay, I am just being modest… we all know I would kick/hit it out of the ballpark (I don’t play a lot of organised sport so I’m not quite sure about some of that terminology.). I am of course referring to what they keep feeding me for dinner.  Yes, I know I like those cookies but like everyone I want to mix it up a bit from time to time.  I think Kaz and Sooz object to the mixing up having to happen at almost every meal.  They do have two types of cookies they regularly give me and they’re okay and all but what they don’t realise is that I would like about seven or eight different varieties on tap and then they could surprise me at each meal.  What?  They did that already with wet and dry food and gave the different types and flavours ratings based on how much I ate of them and most of them came back in the lower single digits.  Hmmmm.  If I’d tried harder I reckon I could have had some of them coming back in the negatives.  “Leave it there long enough and she will eat it” they said, as if I wasn’t even listening!  I know they used to serve some of their other cats yum cha … I’m not sure what that is but it sure sounds tasty.  Although, and there might be cause/pause for thought here … they don’t feed those other cats anything now … they keep them in boxes up near the television set… and it’s funny but I can’t seem to bring myself to knock them off there!

Snake!  Snake!  Snake!  Heh heh heh … I have finally worked out how to get my revenge on Kaz.  Every chance I get now I rush over to the window near my cat tower … look out as though I am watching something … wait for Kaz to see me .. and then I send her the words “snake … snake …”.  Beats me why she starts randomly singing something about Severus Snape soon after (Snape … Snape … Severus Snape) … I think she saw something on the interweb once!  It works to keep her on her toes though … but only because we know there are snakes in the area … not least because there was one out near the front gate last week or the ones that shed their skins earlier this year … and as I eavesdropped while she was talking with “Dan the Deck Man” yesterday, he was saying that on his way to see her, he had seen a snake in the next street.  He even whipped out his phone to show her a picture. 

Deck .. deck?  Yes, Sooz and Kaz – in a bid to appease me because of the whole “does my b*m look big in this” incident – have decided to enclose the back deck area so I have another place to hide/play.  I think it’s wonderful of them – not so much because the “whatever it is” has to be catproof so I can’t escape, but that it has to be snake-proof so they can’t play with me … and vice versa.  (Kaz had just finished transcribing that paragraph when one of the men at the table near her at Zarraffas was talking about someone saying “does my b*m look big in this” … seems there is a bit of it about.)  Kaz has already had one quote for blinds that lock down out there but she isn’t completely happy with that … hence the visit from Dan the Deck Man – who should have his quote back to her soon.

In the meantime, since the deck is still a little bit away, I am contenting myself with lounging around the house in all the usual places. I did give An a fright yesterday though … she couldn’t find me – and I didn’t even know we were supposed to be playing Hide & Seek!  She told Kaz and Sooz later that she absolutely knew I hadn’t escaped the house because she hadn’t had the door open, but she was worried because she couldn’t find me – and she looked in all the usual spots but I had well and truly gone missing.  Well, so she thought … I was actually asleep on the bed, curled up with the washing basket that was there too.  Now I think about it, I do believe my favourite shoes were in the basket.

Anyway, I have to get back to the window in case I see a …. Snake!  Snake!

I’m still plotting my revenge but I’ve now heard that it’s a dish best served cold so it’s like ice cream. Shame that I dont really like milk-based products, so I may have to think of something else.  And I think I may know what it is! If Kaz is so fond of taking my photo, I’m going to keep giving her opportunities that she doesn’t want to miss … so she’ll be so busy following me around that she won’t get a chance to do anything else!  That will teach her to make fun of the size of my bottom!  (Let it go …. let it go … I think I heard someone singing that once – or maybe more than that … Sooz certainly did on her way to Sydney with her neice and nephew some Christmases ago … she still talks about what a good trip that was.)

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Otherwise things have been pretty much normal around here although Kaz was freaking out yesterday when she saw a snake … well, the way she tells it, it wasn’t about seeing it, but about having to dispose of the poor thing’s body.  It had apparently become wedged somewhere and couldn’t get out and it didn’t make it.  She needed to touch it to dispose of the body and she didn’t want to do that … not by hand, so she tried (a bit unsuccessfully) with “the chopstick method” – tring to pincer it between two long handles and then with gloves.  Is “icky” even a word Kaz?

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